Tale of Two Weddings (part 2) USA Wedding



I grew up in a midwest town of 10,000.  Most of the weddings I attended were at the local church with the reception being held at the local VFW hall or something similar.  Usually, the dinner was served on disposable plates with the table cloths being large rolled out paper.  The important part was people had a good meal, had a few drinks and danced the night away.  Decorations were paper fold out balls and crepe paper streamers.  The hall would be filled with family and friends, from infants to great grandparents. 

Hubby grew up in New Delhi, the weddings he attended would last several days, filled with family and friends, days filled with feasts and music.  There would be functions and rituals and a multitude of small traditions that needed to be followed.


1987, Hubby and I had been together for four years, we were officially engaged and the wedding planning started in earnest. I was 23 years old as we began planning the wedding.  The largest event I had hosted up to then was a 15 person dinner party for Hubby’s colleagues.  Hubby and I cooked all the food.  Our fancy appetizer was a spaceman – a grapefruit stuck with toothpicks laden with pineapple, maraschino cherry and pepperoni.  Neither of us had a clue how to plan a wedding, luckily mom helped or should I say pushed us into making decisions for the US wedding.  In the US we wanted to get married in our University town, it’s where we had spent most of our time together.  Many of our friends were still there and my family was less than an hour away.  We booked the university chapel for a nondenominational service and then booked the university reception hall for the reception a year in advance.  Our guests would attend the wedding and walk across a street to attend the reception.  A friend of my husband owned a motel just on the edge of town, he gave our guests a discount for staying there. 

Money was tight each of my parents gave Hubby and I some money, the rest of the expenses we had to take care of.  We had a tight budget, but we lucked out.  The reception hall was beautiful with hard wood floors and murals on the walls, the only decorations we needed to provide were centerpieces and flowers for the bridal table.  Center pieces were simple glass candlesticks wrapped in a royal blue ribbon and a faux white carnation and white candle that were put together by my mom.  We ordered silk flowers for the church and bouquets which were later used for the bridal table. 

Before we even got to the wedding we had to worry about the rehearsal dinner.  We had a large wedding party, plus immediate family and out of town guests.  We were looking at dinner for over 30 people.  In order to save, we went to a local park and had a picnic dinner.  We grilled hamburgers and hot dogs and my mom and sister made potato salad and baked beans.  Everyone was in casuals and just chilled the evening away.

Hard alcohol was forbidden at the venue, only beer and wine were allowed.  So Hubby found a champagne that he liked for the toasts.  We hired a band to help us dance the night away.  My cousin’s husband videotaped the wedding and my step mother’s brother did our still photography.  I think the only thing I wanted that I didn’t get was the $1000 wedding dress.  It was gorgeous with a ton of work on it.  I looked fabulous in it.  However, it didn’t fit our budget, so I got my #2 choice that was only $350.  Luckily I wanted to just wear flowers in my hair and so saved another $200 by not having a veil.  Hubby wore a tuxedo with tails.

I asked my sisters and Hubby’s American cousin to be my bridesmaids.  Hubby asked his college friends and his American cousin to be his groomsmen.  We also asked two of his colleagues to be ushers.  Luckily my sisters lived nearby and could order their bridesmaids dresses from the same shop, the cousin being much younger and living in Chicago had difficulty getting the same dress, but luckily they were able to match the color.  Hubby’s friends and colleagues were spread all over the US, so they had to send in their sizes from wherever they were and arrive a day early for tuxedo fittings.  As per Midwest tradition, the wedding party members paid for their own outfits.

We had a limited guest list, fairly large by my family’s standard very small by Hubby’s.  Since my parents’ divorce I had rarely seen my father’s side of the family. They had only met Hubby once at a family reunion at my Dad’s house.  So I gave my Dad some invitations and told him to invite whomever he wished to sit at his table.  Hubby had his Chicago aunt and uncle act as his parents and also invited several of the Indian university faculty. The rest were mainly our friends and work colleagues. 


I wish I could say that we knew what we were doing, but God’s honest truth, it was all the reception people who knew what they were doing. The bridal dressing room was at the reception venue.  After getting ready I decided to peek into the reception hall.  When I entered, I was awestruck.  The warm glow of the polished hard wood floors enhanced the linen covered tables. The shine of the crockery and glassware shocked me.  I actually believed that the venue was going to give us disposable dishes.  The entire effect was an elegance I had never seen before.  After seeing the beautiful venue, I walked across the street to get married.

Since we were having two weddings, Hubby and I agreed to do whatever was required for each other’s traditions.  Poor Hubby, he had no idea what he was promising.

We had already done the normal things of getting our wedding license, had attended the pre-wedding counseling sessions, ordered the silk flowers, booked church and hall, arranged for photographer and videographer.  All the things came together.  But there were a couple of surprises for both of us. 

Hubby has never been comfortable with public displays of affection (PDA), my family had become used to it, but found it humorous.  So at the end of the ceremony when the minister said “You may now kiss the bride”, you can hear laughter from my family, as he paused and then leaned in and gave me a kiss in front of everyone. 

The other surprise came later at the reception.  I had told him about the three main traditions that would happen at the reception, cutting of the cake, throwing of the bouquet, and throwing of the garter.  I forgot to explain to him how the garter was to be removed.  His two American groomsmen decided to have a little fun with him.  So there I was sitting on the chair, my mother was off to the side next to the video camera and my brand new husband, put his head under my dress and began removing the garter with his teeth, because that is what his friends told him he needed to do.  On the video you can hear my mom saying “Oh my God, he won’t hold her hand and he’s doing that!”  Oh the things we do for love.

Hubby and I had a wonderful evening.  Our wedding was all we could wish it to be.  Surrounded by our loved ones, family and friends, we had a lovely ceremony, followed by excellent dinner, finished off with lots of dancing.  At midnight the evening ended with us walking out with the last of our guests to get into a car….that wasn’t there.

Hubby and I had one car.  I drove it the day of the wedding as I had to go around town to get my hair done and then meet my mom.  Hubby rented a car to transport him and his friends from our apartment to the wedding, and then they would have it the rest of the night to go to their hotel room.  I unfortunately, goofed up.  After getting my hair done I went to my mom’s hotel room to freshen up and then she drove the two of us to the wedding venue in her car.  Yes I left my car at her hotel.  So after the reception we came out of the building with no way to get to our hotel (which was definitely not the same as our guests).  Luckily, Hubby’s friends got lost and so came back to the wedding venue to find out how to get to main street.  We then made them take them to the hotel where all the guests were staying.  Half of my family was in the pool as we pulled up.  My mom just gave me a wry grin as we talked for a few minutes and then the skies opened.  There we were, me in my wedding dress, Hubby in his tux running to the car as lightning and thunder roared around us.  I drove us to our hotel, because I know my family and friends, and they would have raided our room for fun.  So I pulled up and the hotel door is far from the parking lot.  The rain was heavy as we dashed to the front door and found it locked.  We eventually located a late night door bell and drenched we entered our hotel room and crashed.

The next day we met up with everyone and sent them off, some from the hotel and some we took to our place and then to the airport.   After we dropped off our last guest we left for our honeymoon.

On our return from our honeymoon we began planning for our trip to India and wedding 2.







Comments

  1. Troy K. Lynch: Artist of images, sounds, and words30 July 2020 at 12:06

    That v was beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes and laughter to my belly! Xoxo

    ReplyDelete

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