Tale of Two Weddings (part 2) USA Wedding
I grew up in a midwest
town of 10,000. Most of the weddings I
attended were at the local church with the reception being held at the local
VFW hall or something similar. Usually,
the dinner was served on disposable plates with the table cloths being large
rolled out paper. The important part was
people had a good meal, had a few drinks and danced the night away. Decorations were paper fold out balls and
crepe paper streamers. The hall would be
filled with family and friends, from infants to great grandparents.
Hubby grew up in New
Delhi, the weddings he attended would last several days, filled with family and
friends, days filled with feasts and music.
There would be functions and rituals and a multitude of small traditions
that needed to be followed.
1987, Hubby and I had been
together for four years, we were officially engaged and the wedding planning
started in earnest. I was 23 years old as we began planning the wedding. The largest event I had hosted up to then was
a 15 person dinner party for Hubby’s colleagues. Hubby and I cooked all the food. Our fancy appetizer was a spaceman – a
grapefruit stuck with toothpicks laden with pineapple, maraschino cherry and
pepperoni. Neither of us had a clue how
to plan a wedding, luckily mom helped or should I say pushed us into making
decisions for the US wedding. In the US
we wanted to get married in our University town, it’s where we had spent most
of our time together. Many of our
friends were still there and my family was less than an hour away. We booked the university chapel for a
nondenominational service and then booked the university reception hall for the
reception a year in advance. Our guests
would attend the wedding and walk across a street to attend the reception. A friend of my husband owned a motel just on
the edge of town, he gave our guests a discount for staying there.
Money was tight each of my
parents gave Hubby and I some money, the rest of the expenses we had to take
care of. We had a tight budget, but we
lucked out. The reception hall was beautiful
with hard wood floors and murals on the walls, the only decorations we needed
to provide were centerpieces and flowers for the bridal table. Center pieces were simple glass candlesticks
wrapped in a royal blue ribbon and a faux white carnation and white candle that
were put together by my mom. We ordered
silk flowers for the church and bouquets which were later used for the bridal
table.
Before we even got to the
wedding we had to worry about the rehearsal dinner. We had a large wedding party, plus immediate
family and out of town guests. We were
looking at dinner for over 30 people. In
order to save, we went to a local park and had a picnic dinner. We grilled hamburgers and hot dogs and my mom
and sister made potato salad and baked beans.
Everyone was in casuals and just chilled the evening away.
Hard alcohol was forbidden
at the venue, only beer and wine were allowed.
So Hubby found a champagne that he liked for the toasts. We hired a band to help us dance the night
away. My cousin’s husband videotaped the
wedding and my step mother’s brother did our still photography. I think the only thing I wanted that I didn’t
get was the $1000 wedding dress. It was
gorgeous with a ton of work on it. I
looked fabulous in it. However, it
didn’t fit our budget, so I got my #2 choice that was only $350. Luckily I wanted to just wear flowers in my
hair and so saved another $200 by not having a veil. Hubby wore a tuxedo with tails.
I asked my sisters and
Hubby’s American cousin to be my bridesmaids.
Hubby asked his college friends and his American cousin to be his
groomsmen. We also asked two of his
colleagues to be ushers. Luckily my
sisters lived nearby and could order their bridesmaids dresses from the same
shop, the cousin being much younger and living in Chicago had difficulty
getting the same dress, but luckily they were able to match the color. Hubby’s friends and colleagues were spread
all over the US, so they had to send in their sizes from wherever they were and
arrive a day early for tuxedo fittings.
As per Midwest tradition, the wedding party members paid for their own
outfits.
We had a limited guest
list, fairly large by my family’s standard very small by Hubby’s. Since my parents’ divorce I had rarely seen
my father’s side of the family. They had only met Hubby once at a family
reunion at my Dad’s house. So I gave my
Dad some invitations and told him to invite whomever he wished to sit at his
table. Hubby had his Chicago aunt and
uncle act as his parents and also invited several of the Indian university
faculty. The rest were mainly our friends and work colleagues.
I wish I could say that we
knew what we were doing, but God’s honest truth, it was all the reception
people who knew what they were doing. The bridal dressing room was at the
reception venue. After getting ready I
decided to peek into the reception hall.
When I entered, I was awestruck.
The warm glow of the polished hard wood floors enhanced the linen
covered tables. The shine of the crockery and glassware shocked me. I actually believed that the venue was going
to give us disposable dishes. The entire
effect was an elegance I had never seen before.
After seeing the beautiful venue, I walked across the street to get
married.
Since we were having two
weddings, Hubby and I agreed to do whatever was required for each other’s
traditions. Poor Hubby, he had no idea
what he was promising.
We had already done the
normal things of getting our wedding license, had attended the pre-wedding
counseling sessions, ordered the silk flowers, booked church and hall, arranged
for photographer and videographer. All
the things came together. But there were
a couple of surprises for both of us.
Hubby has never been
comfortable with public displays of affection (PDA), my family had become used
to it, but found it humorous. So at the
end of the ceremony when the minister said “You may now kiss the bride”, you
can hear laughter from my family, as he paused and then leaned in and gave me a
kiss in front of everyone.
The other surprise came
later at the reception. I had told him
about the three main traditions that would happen at the reception, cutting of
the cake, throwing of the bouquet, and throwing of the garter. I forgot to explain to him how the garter was
to be removed. His two American
groomsmen decided to have a little fun with him. So there I was sitting on the chair, my mother
was off to the side next to the video camera and my brand new husband, put his
head under my dress and began removing the garter with his teeth, because that
is what his friends told him he needed to do.
On the video you can hear my mom saying “Oh my God, he won’t hold her
hand and he’s doing that!” Oh the things
we do for love.
Hubby and I had a
wonderful evening. Our wedding was all
we could wish it to be. Surrounded by
our loved ones, family and friends, we had a lovely ceremony, followed by
excellent dinner, finished off with lots of dancing. At midnight the evening ended with us walking
out with the last of our guests to get into a car….that wasn’t there.
Hubby and I had one
car. I drove it the day of the wedding
as I had to go around town to get my hair done and then meet my mom. Hubby rented a car to transport him and his
friends from our apartment to the wedding, and then they would have it the rest
of the night to go to their hotel room.
I unfortunately, goofed up. After
getting my hair done I went to my mom’s hotel room to freshen up and then she
drove the two of us to the wedding venue in her car. Yes I left my car at her hotel. So after the reception we came out of the
building with no way to get to our hotel (which was definitely not the same as
our guests). Luckily, Hubby’s friends
got lost and so came back to the wedding venue to find out how to get to main
street. We then made them take them to
the hotel where all the guests were staying.
Half of my family was in the pool as we pulled up. My mom just gave me a wry grin as we talked
for a few minutes and then the skies opened.
There we were, me in my wedding dress, Hubby in his tux running to the
car as lightning and thunder roared around us.
I drove us to our hotel, because I know my family and friends, and they
would have raided our room for fun. So I
pulled up and the hotel door is far from the parking lot. The rain was heavy as we dashed to the front
door and found it locked. We eventually
located a late night door bell and drenched we entered our hotel room and
crashed.
The next day we met up
with everyone and sent them off, some from the hotel and some we took to our
place and then to the airport. After we
dropped off our last guest we left for our honeymoon.
On our return from our honeymoon we began planning for our trip to India and wedding 2.
That v was beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes and laughter to my belly! Xoxo
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