The Art of Feeding People: The Joy of Eating Together


Fondue for four.  


Getting together with friends and family, whether it is for a happy or sad event or just getting together to catch up, nearly always requires food and drinks. Even growing up in a house with limited budget guests were always welcome at the table or to whatever was in the cabinets. 

Almost all cultures that I have come across require the host to feed any guest well, whether it be family, friend, or stranger. 
While my children were growing up their friends were welcome to anything in the kitchen except for carbonated drinks. There was always nimboo pani (Indian Lemonade), iced tea, cold coffee (Indian cold coffee is made with instant coffee, milk, ice, sugar), Kool-Aid (I would bring 300 packets of unsweetened Kool-Aid back from the US, grocery store clerks loved me). I honestly don’t know what I was keeping them from when I said no carbonated drinks, but that was the house rule. 

Growing teenagers needed a lot of calories, so the kids’ crew had their house favorites. Grilled Cheese Sandwiches (with or without jalapenos and/or pepperoni), Chicken Wings, and French Fries were the preferred go to, but anything in the refrigerator would do in a pinch. 

Food brings people together, even bad food allows people to commiserate together, but tasty food just makes everyone feel like all is right in the world. 

When I was young, you could find me and my family at my maternal grandparents’ house for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter lunch. It was a small house with one bathroom and yet 6 (later 5) adults and 5 children fit in perfectly. The kitchen was really only big enough for one cook. The attached area with the dining table, the space in no way could be called a dining room, more like a dining nook, was where most of the women would sit as the cook moved back and forth in the kitchen. 

When Hubby and I got together and started to having dinners at our place, we came up with an Indian menu that most anyone could eat, including tandoori chicken, spiced fried potatoes, chana (chickpeas) masaladar, kachcumber salad, dessert was usually chocolate mousse. except for when my family came over and for them we would make chicken cordon bleu and twiced baked potatoes. We would also have spacemen as appetizers - grapefruit wrapped in foil, stuck with toothpick skewers with pepperoni, cheese, olives, pineapple. We thought we were being fancy. 

The first big event Hubby and I hosted was our Christian Wedding. Luckily, the caterers knew what they were doing, because Hubby and I were constantly delaying choosing anything. We just didn’t know what was right. 

When we moved to India, I had to learn how to build a menu for dinner parties. Day to day meals were taken care of by my mother–in-law. She ruled the kitchen. However, when Hubby and I had guests in our portion of the house I had to learn new methods of doing things. I am an omnivore eater, Hubby’s family are vegetarian where most don’t eat meat or fish, some don’t eat eggs and others don’t even eat onion or garlic. Luckily, being vegan wasn’t a thing back then. 

Through the years I have come to realize one thing. When getting people together the food should enhance the evening. Making everyone feel warm and welcome. So that when they leave the event they are full….with good memories of a time well spent with good food, good conversation, good feelings. 

Over the years I have developed my own strategies in preparing menus for our guests, whether to our home, a restaurant, or a banquet. 

1.  What is the season? 

It is best to prepare a menu that suits the climate. In India it was more important in the early days as which vegetables were available was very seasonal. Winters all the good hearty vegetables. In the summers the watery vegetables were more plentiful. In the monsoon, we would stop having green leafy vegetables as they were often infested with worms. It’s not as stringent now as most things can be found throughout the year….for a price. In the US almost everything could be found year round and was rarely an issue. Although farm fresh summer vegetables tasted so much better than hot house and trucked in varieties. 


2.  Which meal is being served? 

Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, High Tea, Late Night Feast, or Heavy Snacks? 


3. What is the seating available? 

 Is it a plated meal served, standing buffet, half sitting/half standing? 


4.  How many guests? 

 Some items can be made in advance and just heated at the last minute, others require lots of last minute work as they don’t hold well and some need a bit of theatre. 


5.  Where are you serving? 

 Including which country.  I plan a meal differently when I am in India and in the US. Is it at home, banquet hall, restaurant? 


6. What is the formality of the meal? 

 Is it close friends, extended family, new acquaintances, professional colleagues? 


7. What is the purpose of the get together? 

 Are you watching a sports event where lots of finger foods are preferred? Just a nice dinner with friends where a couple of appetizers followed by a sit down dinner. Is it a picnic where the food has to taste good even if it is cold. Is it a children’s event where simple items like chowmein or pasta are the favorites. 


8. What are the dietary restrictions of your guests? 

 Are there religious restrictions? Pork is a no no for Muslims and some Jewish denominations. Beef is often forbidden for Hindus. Is anyone fasting? Many Hindus won’t consume nonveg or alcohol on Tuesdays, there are special kinds of fasting, Catholics don’t eat meat on Fridays during Lent, etc. Does anyone have a food allergy? Lactose intolerant, Is anyone a vegetarian, if so which kind? As stated above some vegetarians will eat eggs, others won’t eat onion and garlic, some strict Jains won’t eat any root vegetable, vegans won’t consume any dairy products. 


 9. What is the budget? 

 Let’s not forget one of the most important restrictions. How much money can you spend? 

 

Once the host is able to answer the above questions then the real planning can begin.

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