Family Is Where the Love Is (Long Short Story)

 Brooks dropped the multitude of bags in his hands to the floor, took a deep breath in relief and looked around his home.  To the left was the living room, the only room on the ground floor that was pristine or in his head, cold.  It was a formal room in shades of white and royal blue with touches of gold that the interior decorator had talked his wife Carolyn into.  After he had seen what he had done to the living room Brooks had fired the interior decorator.  Carolyn wanted to keep the “drawing room” as it was designed for when they had “company”.  In the 5 years since it had been designed it had been used 3 times, each of those were for business purposes. 

     To the right was the “great room” this is where his family and friends gathered.  One wall was covered with a 94” flat screen TV, all of the furniture was big, soft and comfortable in colors that hid spills and stains.   This was the room he and his friends came to watch whatever was the big game of the day. Memories of Sundays sitting on the big couch with his son Jason by his side swirled through his head.  Shaking off the memories he peeled off his jacket and hung it on the coat rack by the door.  Picking up the bags he carried them towards the kitchen.  Seeing Carolyn at the stove he walked towards her and kissed her.  Then he turned and went to the basement door.  As he walked down the steps he heard laughter.  At the bottom of the stairs he turned and watched as his 8 year old grandson, Gabe, playing with the gizmo, laughing each time it exploded when he did a sequence wrong. 

     “Hey Mom, do you think gramps will be able to sell this?” 

     “Your Gramps has a plan” said the boy’s mother from behind her computer. 

         “Indeed I do”,

  Brooks was a big man, stocky was usually the word used.  He had a head full of dark curly hair on his squarish face.  When he spoke his voice would be low and raspy unless he was excited, then it would be a bit sharp.  At the sound of Brooks voice, Gabe jumped up and ran to his grandfather, once again the bags hit the floor as Brooks bent down to his grandson for a big hug.  Standing up straight, he ruffled the boy’s hair that looked so much like his own.

         “Were you able to find anything new?” asked Sarah as she got up and moved away from her computer. 

      “A couple of things that might do O.K., but nothing that has that special zing that I was hoping for.”

   Brooks bent down and began opening all of the bags.  He had started out with a small five and dime store when he was younger, he was locally known for his bold cheesy commercials where he hawked everything from self-sharpening knives to garden gnomes and anything that one never knew that they needed.  It was a truly old fashioned five and dime.  When internet shopping was in its infancy he quickly expanded his business.  Eventually, his internet sales had overtaken his store sales, but as he did so love that limelight he kept the store and his commercials. 

         After showing Sarah and Gabe the new items, they all went back upstairs to have the dinner that Carolyn had made.

         Sitting around the dinner table conversation flowed from one topic to another.  How school was today, problems with the website host, new commercial ideas. The mood was light and contented as happens with a family dinner when the family loves each other, until Gabe said “I saw Jason.”     

Brooks and Carolyn had met in middle school in their small hometown.  From the time they first met they were inseparable.  Initially, their parents had tried to keep them from being together but it just made life miserable for everyone.  While they had other friends, because after all Brooks was a very social person, they were the center of the other’s universe.  As neither of their families were able to send them to college they decided to get jobs and get married right out of high school.  Initially, Carolyn worked at the local grocery store as a cashier and Brooks got a job at the local car rental place. 

Sitting behind the desk on a daily basis caused Brooks to become unhappy with life.  Sitting in one place staring at a computer gave him cabin fever.  Eventually the boredom and restlessness even began to take a toll on their marriage.  One day Carolyn decided she’d had enough and told him to quit his job and find something that would make him happier.  He went to the local amusement park, he had always been a natural artist and in high school he had taken several classes.  So he began as a caricaturist. He would sit for hours drawing people in absurd ways and get paid for it.  While he still had to sit for long periods of time, he was able to socialize with people from all walks of life and hear about far off places.  While he was happier he didn’t make much money. While it was just the two of them, they were able to get by, but then Carolyn said she wanted to buy a house and start a family. 

In order to save up some money Brooks took an extra part time job at the local five and dime.  The owner was in his 60s and needed someone young to stock the shelves and do random work.  So after Brooks finished his day job he would go home and have dinner with Carolyn and then go to his 2nd job to clean and organize the store.  Sometimes if the owner was busy Brooks would help with sales.  He began recommending the owner to carry a few items that locals would want on a regular basis.  As various holidays and celebrations would come around, Brooks would encourage the owner to not only have sales but events in order to bring more customers to the store. Brooks marketing ideas boosted profits.  One day the owner didn’t come into the store.  During the night he had had a heart attack.  The doctors advised the owner he had to slow down and have less stress.  After a long talk with his wife, he decided to sell the business.  He first offered it to Brooks.  Courtesy of all the saving that he and Carolyn had done in order to buy a house he was able to make a deal with the now former owner.  They renovated the upstairs, which the old owner had closed off as he got older, into a one bedroom apartment.

Carolyn continued with her grocery store job as it had good insurance and Brooks left his artist job and began his ideal career as a salesman.  After a couple of years they finally decided that the business was stable enough to start trying for a baby.  Unfortunately, month after month they were disappointed.  They went to fertility doctors who told them there was nothing wrong with either of them and that they should just “relax”.

They finished their 20s childless.  As they entered their 30s they began the paperwork necessary for adoption.  Twice they almost became parents but each time it fell through.  Then when they were 35, when they were least expecting it, Carolyn discovered she was pregnant.  She had a smooth pregnancy and both were ecstatic when she delivered a healthy baby boy, Jason.   

By this time Brooks store was able to support their small family. Brooks’ new products and his unique marketing events had made their shop a favorite “go to” place.  Carolyn quit her job at the grocery store and stayed home with the baby and when needed would help out in the five and dime.  They continued to live in the apartment over the shop until Jason began school.  The year Jason began 1st grade they moved into a house in a good school district.  Carolyn had fallen in love with the two story house with 4 bedrooms, a basement, a pool and a pool house.  She had converted one of the bedrooms into a crafts room and the basement was converted into a home office. 

Jason was a happy handsome boy who grew into a charming handsome man.  Carolyn was loving but not over indulgent with him.  As mother’s do, she began developing friendships with other mothers and her life became play dates, ball games and scouts.  Jason’s ability to make friends easily seemed a blessing.  She didn’t notice he became accustomed to using his charm to get what he wanted.  In school he was able to get good grades easily, the teachers loved him.  He was naturally athletic excelling in local leagues.  He was always surrounded by a large gang of friends. However, no one seemed to notice that while Jason never got into any fights, he always seemed to be nearby when one broke out.  Jason had become an expert at manipulating people without anyone noticing that it was him instigating others.

Once Jason started middle school, Carolyn became the office manager at the store, taking over the paperwork that Brooks so hated.  They converted their old apartment into a homey office.  That way Brooks and Carolyn were able to spend more time together and when Jason got out of school he would do his homework in peace and help out in the store so he could learn the business.

When Jason left for college his life changed, drastically.  He was still charming but the charm didn’t seem to work as easily as it did back home.  Getting good grades was harder in college and where once he was top of the class he slid to the middle.  He was partying so much that he started using his girlfriends to help with his projects and papers.  He went through the allowance that his parents sent and started mooching off of his girlfriends.  Eventually when one girlfriend would find out about another there would be tears and recriminations, but eventually even the most devoted girlfriend would finally realize that he didn’t care for her, he was just using her. 

The summer after his graduation he came home.  He hadn’t been able to get a job through the university program, Brooks had to use his contacts to get him a job, but that didn’t start until August. 

Sarah had done vocational training in IT.  Upon her graduation, at the request of his friend who ran her program, Brooks hired her for data entry at his store. That is where Sarah’s and Jason’s worlds collided. 

Jason was bored.  He was supposed to be helping around his father’s office.  With internet sales increasing, it was important that their website design be as bold as Brooks commercials had been.  Instead of helping with the website he just hung around until he could make up an excuse to leave.  Then one day as he was preparing to leave early he noticed  a slender blonde in the corner as she got up and moved to get herself a drink from the kitchenette.  He hadn’t noticed her before as she had been hidden by the computer display.  He looked upon the young woman as a hawk looked at a rodent….prey.

 Sarah thought she was in love.  Sarah came from a conservative family, fraternization between the sexes was frowned upon unless chaperoned.  She had had to beg to be allowed to take the job at the store and was only allowed after her counselor convinced her father she would be working with Brooks’ wife.  She had been sheltered all of her life, she was not prepared for Jason.  She had no experience being the target of a gorgeous charmer.  She didn’t realize that a handsome face could hide such a hideous soul.  Jason showered her with all the attention a young woman craved.  By the end of the summer she was pregnant, Jason was gone, and she was thrown out of her house.  Her parents disowned her.  When Brooks found her crying at her desk one morning she told him everything. 

Brooks called Jason to convince him to take care of his responsibilities. 

“The baby isn’t mine Dad” said Jason.  “She’s just trying to trap me.”

“Jason, are you sure it can’t be yours?” asked Brooks.

“No way Dad, I’m telling you she’s playing you.”

Brooks wanted to believe his son, but he had his doubts.  Jason never seemed to be able to keep a girlfriend longer than a few months.  He’d listened to Jason as he talked with other guys about how easy girls fell in his lap, but never talking about love.  He wanted to believe him, but he just couldn’t. 

So Brooks talked with his wife and they decided to be supportive of Sarah until the baby was born and then they would have a DNA test.  They had the pool house converted into a one bedroom apartment and Sarah moved in.

As her pregnancy progressed Sarah slowly became family.  She continued to work in his office, expanding her roll from just database management to project manager.  At home she would help Carolyn with meals, allowing Carolyn to concentrate on her crafts.  When Sarah saw Carolyn’s quilts and afghans, she recommended that she sell them online and so began a new business of one of a kind craft items. 

Brooks went to Sarah’s parents and tried to get them involved in her life, but they refused and eventually they wouldn’t even accept calls from him. 

Jason had moved to Florida and had refused all contact with Brooks as well as Sarah. 

         Carolyn became Sarah’s birthing coach and confidant.  There was a part of both of them that believed that Jason would come back.  As months passed without hearing from him, hope began disappearing.  By the end of the pregnancy they were as close as any mother daughter you could find.

         When Sarah went into labor it was all hands on deck.  Brooks drove her to the hospital as Carolyn helped her through the breathing exercises.  At the hospital, while Sarah was being readied, Brooks tried one last time to contact Sarah’s parents and then his son Jason.  Getting no response from either he went to wait.  When the baby was finally born he had a thick head of dark curly hair, Brooks knew he was looking at his grandson, but to keep it all legal they went ahead with the DNA test.

         As Sarah looked down at her son she said, “He’s my own little angel”. She could only remember two angel names, so she named him Gabriel Michael. 

         Sarah moved back to the pool house while they waited for the report that no one really needed anymore. 

         Jason had refused to sign the birth certificate and refused to send child support even after the DNA report came back that he was indeed Gabe’s father.  Brooks hired a lawyer for Sarah, but they couldn’t find any place that Jason was working.  There was no salary to be garnished. 

         Eventually, a private detective was hired and Brooks learned that his son was living with an older woman.  His son had become a gigolo.  That is when he decided to create a trust fund for his grandson.  Most days Sarah took Gabe to the office with her.  Eventually, as the internet business became more profitable, it was decided that Sarah would go to college and learn how to manage all of their systems.  Carolyn began watching Gabe while she was in class which allowed her to finish her degree within 3 years. 

         As she became more important to the company Brooks increased her salary.  They discussed if she wanted to move out on her own, but in the end it was decided that everyone liked the status quo.  She had the privacy of having her own place and yet also had the safety of family near her.  They expanded the pool house to give Gabe his own room.  Eventually, Sarah began dating.  Though none of the men turned out to be the love of her life, she was happy with the life she had.

         One day Jason showed up.  He walked into his parents’ home as if he as if it was a daily occurance.  An eighteen month old Gabe began crying as everyone became tense.  Jason began as his old charming self, but when he saw that wasn’t working, he came to the point.  He needed money, he was in debt to the wrong people and he needed to get somewhere new.  Brooks refused.  Jason then threatened to ask for visiting privileges and he might even try and get custody of his son.  Eventually, Brooks agreed to give Jason money if he signed away his parental rights.  After that Brooks spoke with an estate lawyer and expanded the trust fund for Gabe.  He was already in his 60s.  He didn’t want to take any chances that his son would waste everything he had worked so hard for.  He loved his son, but the choices he had made were….well Brooks just felt he had to protect his grandson.  The locks on the house were changed and a security system installed.  The next time Jason tried to enter the house he had to ring the bell. 

         “How could you lock me out?”  he yelled at his cowering mother, when she answered the door.  Carolyn had never seen this side of her son.  The yelling brought Brooks running into the room.  Seeing the wife he loved being berated by the son that he had adored shredded his insides.

         Stepping between the mother and son, he began pushing Jason out the door.  “If you can’t speak properly to your mother, don’t come here.”

         “I’m your son, you can’t just throw me out.”

         “We didn’t throw you out, you left.  You left all of your responsibilities for us to take care of.  You chose.  If you want to talk, then talk in a civilized tone. “

         Jason stormed off, but returned a few days later.  Once again he needed money, but he refused to talk about his life or the responsibilities he had left in his parents lap.  That time Brooks was strong and was able to refuse him money.  However, that wasn’t always the case.

         Every year or so Jason would call or show up usually running from something and always needing money.  His looks were fading quickly from the fast life he led.  He was still good looking and could still turn on the charm, but if someone looked closely it didn’t reach his eyes anymore.  When Jason showed up, Brooks and Carolyn tried to tell themselves and each other that this would be the last time, but in the end they would give him a little cash.  They would beg him to change his life, but all he did was talk about his big plans.  He was their son, they loved him. 

         One day when Gabe was around 5 years old the police came to the door.  They were informed that Jason had swindled a woman of her life savings.  He had convinced her he was investing it and then one morning he and the money were gone.  It seems it wasn’t the first time, but it was the first time someone wasn’t too embarrassed to go to the police. The police couldn’t believe that no one in Brooks’ house knew where Jason was, so they kept returning and applying pressure. Then one day Brooks received a phone call from Jason.

         “Dad, I’m in jail.  I need you to bail me out.” 

         Brooks refused to mortgage his house for bail.  He believed his son would run, he couldn’t take the chance that he would lose the house that sheltered his wife and grandson.  However, he did hire a lawyer.  With all the evidence the prosecution had the lawyer convinced Jason it was in his best interest to make a deal. Jason was able to plea out for 7 -10 years with chance of parole after 4 years. 

         Since then the four had made a happy life for themselves.  One day Gabe asked about his father.  Carolyn still had a few of Jason’s photos on the mantle.  Taking one of the photos and handing it to her son, Sarah told him Jason had done something bad and was away trying to make it better, but that Mom, Grandpa and Grandma were here to take care of him. Gabe wanted to ask more questions, but he could feel his mother’s anguish so in his young brain he decided not to talk about his dad.

         Knowing that one day his son would come home Brooks had done all he could do to protect Sarah and Gabe financially, he just hadn’t expected the homecoming would be this soon.   

         “Where did you see Jason?” Sarah asked her son.

         “He was standing across the street when I got home from school.”

         “Why didn’t you tell someone?”

         “At first I wanted to pretend I didn’t see him, but then I thought maybe you should know. In case.”

         “In case what?”

         “In case he was still bad.”

         Brooks felt sad for his grandson.  He was having to grow up too soon.  He should still believe that his dad would protect him and could leap buildings in a single bound.  He shouldn’t have to worry that his mom and grandparents were scared of his dad. 

         The next morning at breakfast the doorbell rang.  Brooks, Carolyn, and Sarah looked at each other, a multitude of emotions slithering between them, anticipation and fear winning.  Sarah told Gabe to get ready for school. 

         As Brooks went to open the door, Sarah went to the pool house with Gabe.  Jason entered the breakfast nook and saw Sarah and Gabe entering the pool house. 

         “They’re still here.”

         “They’re family.”

         “What am I then? “

         “Our son. They let you out early.”

         “Over crowding.  They had to release a bunch of us.  My lawyer was able to get my parole transferred to here. I’m in a resident hotel over on the other side of town.”

         “You said you never wanted to live here again.  Why did you have them move you here?”

         “I’ve come to help you with your business.  You aren’t getting younger.”

         “You hate my business.”

         “I have to be employed.  I’m not going to sweep floors. You owe me.”

         “What do I owe you?”

         “If you had given me the money when I asked for it, I wouldn’t have had to go to jail.”

         “It was too much, I would have had to mortgage the house.”

         “I’m your son, you should have done it.”

         “I’m not going to have this argument again. As for working in my company you can work in the store.”

         “I need to learn the business, I’ll work in the office. It will all be mine one day.”

         “No it will all belong to Sarah and Gabe one day. Sarah is already the president. She’s been running the day to day operations for the past couple of years.”

         “You’re just giving her everything.” 

         “No she has earned her place and her share, just like I did.”

         “The rest will be put in Trust for when Gabe grows up, if and when she thinks he can handle the responsibility.” 

         “He’s my son, I should be in charge of his trust fund.”

         “You signed your rights away a long time ago.  I have created another Trust for you.  It will give a monthly income, not what you think you need, but in addition to even a minimum salary you should be able to live comfortably. 

         “So I’m supposed to work as menial labor to make you happy.”

         “No, I’m hoping that you will grow up and find a legal way of making your way.  But I am getting too old to tell myself any more fairy tales. But you are my son and I don’t want to leave you without anything.”

         “It should all be mine.  How could you take them in when I didn’t want them.”

         “You may not have wanted them, but your mother and I did.  These last nine years have been happy because they are here.  When your mom had pneumonia it was Sarah who was here taking care of home and office while I sat in the hospital with your mom.  It was Gabe who kept her company when she was released from the hospital.”

         “Why did I have to leave in the first place?”

         “No one asked you to leave, you ran away.  You refused to accept your responsibilities.  Sarah’s parents threw her out of the house when they found out she was pregnant, they still refuse to even talk with her because she wouldn’t put him up for adoption and pretend he didn’t exist.”

         “Why didn’t she, it would have made everyone’s life better?”

         “It wouldn’t have made my life better.”  Sarah’s voice was cold.  Gone was the naïve girl that Jason had known.  In her place was a confident woman.  Next to her was Gabe, his face crawling with emotions, unshed tears in his eyes. As she walked forward she urged Gabe towards Brooks who sat down on the dining room chair and pulled him up on his lap. 

         “You may have been toying with me when we were together, but I was in love.  Gabe came from all that love that you didn’t want.  He gives me all the unconditional love that my parents refused to give me.  To your parents he brings joy to their life to balance all the grief that you have given.  Never ever say that Gabe hasn’t made my life better, he is the one that brought all the colour into my grey life.”

         “Gabe has made your mom’s and my life better as well.  He has kept us feeling young. You chose to travel life alone, if you continue like this I’ll let you continue to travel without any help from this house”, said Brooks.

         Brooks hugged his grandson tight, “you are a blessing in this house, you have brought so much happiness.  Never ever think otherwise. Now go to school and don’t worry about any of this”

         Brooks placed Gabe on the ground and stood up.  “Jason, if you want you can still work at the store, if you don’t that is fine, but you aren’t welcome in the house until you can accept the way things are.”

         Jason had to have a job.  He hated that he was going to work in his father’s store instead of an office job. He despised the fact that Sarah was his boss. The fact that there were three managers between them angered him even more. 

         The first day he went to the shop he became a glorified stock boy, occasionally running a register if the store got very busy or if one of the regular cashiers needed a break.  Still believing that as the son of the owner he could throw his weight around, he tried to rearrange some of the stock.  When the store manager had him redo it, he complained to his dad, but Brooks told him to do as the manager told him.  When he didn’t show up work for a couple of day, his pay was cut and he was put on warning.  When he complained to his mother, she referred him back to the manager. 

         He then tried charming the store manager, but she had been warned by his parents not to give in to any of his demands.  He was to be treated as any normal worker.  He thought about skimming cash from the register, until he noticed the cameras above the counter.  A couple of times a week either his mom or dad would take him out for lunch.  They would try and encourage him to look around for a job that would really interest him.  The problem was Jason didn’t want to work, he just wanted the good life. 

         Jason had always wanted the “good” life.  When he was a young kid he would often help out in the store.  His parents kept telling him that one day the store would be his.  But he didn’t want to sell cheap everyday items or tacky fad items.  He hated and was embarrassed by the cheesy commercials his dad did for TV. He wanted to be surrounded by name brands and luxury items.  The kids he went to school with all seem to have big houses with staff.  They never had to help out in a store.  They could spend all their time hanging out with other kids from school.  When he became a teenager and the other kids realized that his dad was the guy on the late night commercials he pretended that his father created that persona to sell to the masses.  He wanted to pretend that his family came from old money like his new friends, but he had too many cousins on the other side of town to make it believable. As his jealousy of his friends grew so did his disdain for his family.

By the time he was in high school he had learned to hide his dislike of his common parents.  Even though his mom no longer had to help out at the store for financial reasons, she still went because she loved working with her husband.  His parents refused to join activities that his friends’ parents participated in like the local country club.  They had a gym set up in part of the basement and had the swimming pool heated so they could swim year around.  Brooks and Carolyn had actually thought about joining the club when Jason was in grade school.  They were given a week’s pass to try the facilities. They went three times.  They saw nanny’s trailing after whiney bossy kids as mothers flirted with their tennis coaches.  They saw teenagers lounging after school ordering staff around as if they were their private servants.  They saw lunches that turned into cocktail hour.  It wasn’t who they were and that is not what they wanted their son exposed to. 

But Jason was already exposed to it in school.  Most of his friends were living that life and that is the life he wanted for himself.  He was athletic and so was able to mingle with all of the jocks, many of whom belonged to the club.  Then Jason discovered if he had a girlfriend, he could talk her into taking him to the club. Soon he was there so often people never realized that he wasn’t an actual member. 

While Jason was great at the high school level sports he wasn’t exceptional, there were no sports scholarships heading his way.  Luckily he was able to score high enough on his SATs that combined with his extra-curricular he was accepted to most of the colleges he applied, with his father footing the bill.  He wanted to get as far from his parents as he could, and California seemed the place he could become the real Jason.

Problem was, he could run from his family and his hometown, but he couldn’t run from himself.  High school had been easy, but college demanded more of him.  Previously, he had been scheduled by the life of a small town.  Now with no one to tell him to come home or ask if his homework was done, he found himself procrastinating his required work and hanging out with other guys like himself.  By the first midterm his grades were so low that he was on probation.  When Brooks saw the grades at Thanksgiving he sat Jason down and told him he needed to straighten up or he would have to move closer to home.  He wasn’t paying for him to party. 

Jason promised his dad that his grades would get better and that it was just his first time away from home.  When Jason returned to college instead of applying himself to his studies, he began figuring out ways to work the system.  He became friends with the smartest person in each of his classes and used that person for notes, homework, projects, whatever he needed.  He used his good looks and charm to make the other person think that he was helping them when actually they were doing his work for him.  He still had to cram for the exams, but as long as he could keep those at a C level, he could stay off of probation.  

Every month Brooks sent Jason a check to cover expenses so that he wouldn’t have to work while in college.  He wanted his son to have the college experience that he had never had.  Jason joined a fraternity and once again Jason’s needs to keep up with the Jones’ came into play.  Unlike at his old school and country club there was no way to mooch off of his fraternity brothers or at least not for very long.  He tried getting his mom to send him more money, but after a while even she told him that he had to stay on his budget. 

The summer between his freshman and sophomore year his father wanted him to come home and work in the store.  Jason talked him into a summer in Europe with a couple of his friends.  Once again Brooks agreed and gave Jason a round trip ticket, a Eurorail pass and enough money to get by for two months if he lived in hostels.  Jason didn’t want to live that way and all of his money was gone in a month.  Not wanting to return so quickly, he and his friends began busking and grifting.  One night they were sitting at an outside café drinking wine and trying to figure out how to get some more cash when two older women sat at the table next to them.  The women seemed to be business professionals in their late 40s. The women sat, drinking their wine and listening to the boys plan.  When the women ordered a new bottle of wine they offered to share with Jason and his two friends. A couple bottles later the women paid both of the bills and had the boys walk them to their hotel.  The older one had taken a liking to Jason and she invited him to her room.  Not looking forward to sleeping in the open once again he took her up on her offer.  In the morning when he finally awoke, he found a note telling him he could use the shower, but he needed to be out of the room by noon.  Included in the note was a hundred euros.  After cleaning himself up he met up with his friends and realized he should have negotiated a price up front.  The next few weeks Jason learned how to get women to pay for his pleasures.

Returning back home, everything seemed dull and slow, but quickly he was back at college and ready to use the knowledge he gained in Europe.  He would still look for college girls to help with his college work, but he also went out looking for a “sponsor” in order to enjoy the good life.  All was well until the two parts of his life collided, but when that happened he would just go out and find replacements until they too collided.  The following summer he tried to talk his parents into sending him abroad again, but Brooks insisted that Jason needed work experience and so for the next two summers Jason returned to his hometown and the good boy mask he learned to wear around the house.

At college with all of his fraternization his grades never became great, just acceptable.  It was no surprise when he was unable to get a job through campus placement.  Brooks had hoped that Jason would come back and join his business as he had a lot of ideas on expansion, but he couldn’t do it alone.  Jason convinced Brooks that he needed some outside experience before coming back to the company.  With Brooks’ contacts he was able to get Jason a sales position in a company in Florida.  Unfortunately, it didn’t start until August.  Jason wanted his parents to fund a graduation European trip, but Brooks insisted that he spend a couple of months at home. 

He should have known to leave the little virgin alone.  Virgins always thought they were in love, but he was bored and he needed something to distract him until he could get to Florida.  Not to mention he loved the way Sarah adored him.  She hung on to his every word, believing everything he told her.  It had been so easy to seduce her.  Where she was in love, he was just killing time until he could leave for his new job.

The last week of July, Brooks and Jason packed all of Jason’s belongings into a u-haul and drove to Florida together.  It was to be a big father/son bonding time.  It took one day to get to Florida, with Brooks driving and Jason texting the whole way.   It only took three days to find Jason an apartment and another three days to furnish the apartment.  If Brooks was disappointed in the quality of the time they spent together, he lied to himself and pretended that Jason was just excited about starting his own life.  With a heavy heart and a lighter bank account, Brooks took a taxi to the airport and flew back home. 

Carolyn had spent most of the time Brooks was gone managing the store and trying not to cry.  Jason was so happy to leave that he was unable to hide his dislike of his parents’ lives.  She didn’t think he would come back to live. Her unhappiness kept her from noticing how pensive and wane their new data entry tech had become.  When Brooks returned he seemed a bit low as well and so they just hugged each other and went back to their routine.

After Brooks found Sarah crying he called Jason and she told him about the pregnancy.  “Jason, Sarah’s pregnant, you need to take responsibility.”

“It’s not mine Dad, she’s just trying to trap me.”

“You don’t have to get married, but you need to do the right thing for the baby.” 

“No Dad, I don’t want to be tied down.  I don’t want to live in that hick town.  I like big city life.  I like the good things.  I don’t want a five and dime life.”

“I thought you were going to get experience and then come home.”

“No, nope, that was your dream for me, not mine.  I like being away where no one knows me as the son of that crazy guy in the commercials.”

“Those commercials allowed us to have a good life.”

“Not good enough, I want the high life.”

“and the baby?”

“Not mine.”

That conversation swirled around in Brooks head over and over.  His son was ashamed of him and had no concept of responsibility.  He thought the life that his parents had built from nothing was still nothing.  He and Carolyn often wondered where they had gone wrong, how they had missed that their son had no integrity.  He had always been surrounded by lots of friends, had gotten good grades, and had never gotten in any trouble.  They hadn’t spoiled him, he had had to work for spending money in the shop.  They had lived a good life, not an extravagant one.  Brooks’ was well respected in the area, which is why many of the “better” families had welcomed Jason as their children’s friend.  He had had to earn half of the amount for the first car he bought, but his college was paid for by Brooks.  Carolyn and Brooks could never figure out where they had gone wrong.   Finally, they had to accept that somehow Jason had chosen to live in a way they wouldn’t have chosen for him.  

Brooks still went into the store daily, he loved interacting with the customers.  He let Sarah take care of the paperwork.  They’d have Monday morning meetings to go over marketing plans, or accounts.  Brooks filled his time with painting and attending sales exhibitions.  In fact Carolyn and he had started travelling to the large conferences around the country and used them as romantic getaways, while Sarah held down the fort at home.  In the summer Sarah and Jason would sometimes join Brooks and Carolyn, so they could learn how to find new items before they became fads.   Brooks had about a 70% success rate, but then he took that 30% failure and turned them into the annual White elephant sale every January. 

Jason had been working at the store for 6 months.  He had not been a good employee, but he had worked just enough so that his Dad didn’t fire him.  Jason was at his wits end.  He was bored.  He was able to earn enough to rent a small apartment and he didn’t have to pretend to be the good son.  He actually looked forward to the weekly lunches with his parents.  They let him choose the restaurant and he always chose the best.  His parents would ask him how and what he was doing.  He was not invited to the house except for major holidays.  He had gone for Thanksgiving and Christmas and had actually enjoyed mingling with his cousins, but he made sure to stay far away from Sarah and the boy. 

The boy was the problem.  If it wasn’t for the boy, he would still be his parents’ golden boy.  It never occurred to Jason that it was his personal choices that had removed the rose colored glasses from his parents’ eyes.  Jason’s habit of doing just enough to get by and yet believing that the world owed him a living, broke his parents’ hearts.  He couldn’t understand why everyone seemed to love Gabe so much.  He was a nice looking boy, but nothing exceptional.  He rarely spoke, but when he did the other kids his age all seemed to pay attention.  Even the adults would listen and smile.  Jason saw his father in the boy, but none of himself. 

Initially, Jason had tried to reintegrate himself with his old friends, but they had taken different paths and many had come to realize that their lives were much better without the drama that Jason had surrounded himself with.  Most had started families of their own and were disgusted that Jason refused to take responsibility for his son.  All of them respected Brooks and Carolyn for stepping in to help raising their grandson.  When Jason began to bad mouth Sarah and how she had taken advantage of his parents, old friends disappeared.  Most of the women stayed clear of him, those whom he had dated previously had seen his callousness.  There were a couple of women who had only known of him that thought it would be exciting to date someone who had walked on the wild side of life. At least until they realized that he rarely took them out and he expected his women to buy him expensive gifts. 

Eventually the player got played.  He started dating a wealthy woman who was fifteen years older than him.  As long as he took care of her needs she would finance his needs.  Slowly, she maneuvered so that he only saw her.  At first she would just happen to bump into him when he was on a date with other women.  The other women would cry, scream and shout when they realized that they weren’t exclusive.  Slowly, the others stopped accepting his calls.  While Kate would just smile as she slowly tightened the leash. Kate owned a real estate business and had done very well with it.   She liked and eventually loved Jason, but she was too old to play by any other rules than her own.  She knew not only who but what Jason was.  She was willing to buy him his expensive suits and car, she gave him a credit card with a decent limit, but never cash.  Never did he have access to her money, no matter how much he hinted that he could invest her millions.  When Jason was with her he was attentive, witty and he kept his physique toned and flexible.  Eventually, he moved in with her and though she knew he occasionally strayed, she knew that he would always come back. Jason had come to hate the thought of going to the store each day.  Leaving the life of luxury that Kate’s house offered to go to the store made Jason feel like a failure.  He eventually, asked Kate for a job in her business.  She agreed, IF, he could pass the real estate exam.  Initially, he procrastinated, but after working under Sarah for a year he decided enough was enough.  He put in the time and the effort and was able to pass the exam the first time. 

Where once he dreaded going into the office, he now was excited.  He chose to deal only with the top properties in the area.  He became known for his ability to get the home owner the best price.  Without the stress of trying to be someone he wasn’t, his looks returned, his charm began to work for him again. 

Since he was able to meet his probation requirement and leave the store he hated so much.  His lunches with his parents became rarer.  What was once a couple of times a week became twice a month to once a month.  Until it just became a phone call. 

Kate knew about Jason’s son Gabe, but as she didn’t want children it didn’t bother her that Jason didn’t act like a father.  It meant that all of Jason’s attention belonged to her.  Once Jason’s probation finished he bought Kate an engagement ring from his own earnings.  She said yes, but she made sure that the prenup was iron clad.  What each found surprising is that Jason didn’t mind the prenup.  He had come to love Kate, because she loved him as he was.  He rarely needed to stray to boost his ego.  Having Kate on his arm was all he needed.  Though many believed he married her for her money, he actually married her because with her, he was home. 

He never became a father.  To make sure that history didn’t repeat itself he had a vasectomy.  He had given up his parental rights when Gabe was a baby, he never regretted it. 

During the year Jason worked at the store it had been difficult for both Sarah and Gabe.  Sarah’s illusions about Jason had been shattered during that first time Jason came home after Gabe was born.  Until then there had still been a small hope that once Jason saw Gabe that he would fall in love and they would be the perfect family.  After that visit, she concentrated at making Gabe’s childhood better than hers had been.  Gabe had had similar thoughts that somehow his dad would show up and by magic he would love him.  He tried to get to know him, by stopping at the store, but Jason would disappear in the stock room or run errands whenever Gabe showed up.  It was hard for Gabe to understand why his dad and his other grandparents couldn’t love him.

Sarah was raised in a very strict household.  Her parents belonged to an independent conservative church that believed men and women’s roles were strictly defined.  Sarah had 7 older siblings the next oldest was 5 years older than Sarah.  Her father, John, was de facto head of household.  Her mother, Agnes, was required to keep the house clean, serve meals on time and submit to her older husband’s every wish.

John had joined the church in his teens.  His family was broken by alcohol and infidelity.  In the church the strict lines of duty brought order into his chaotic life.  He was an intense young man and at the age of 18 moved out from his parent’s dysfunctional home and rented a room from an elderly couple belonging to the same church.  They were an older couple, Mr and Mrs. Wilson, whose children had moved to get away from the rigid rules of the house.  John traded one dysfunctional home for another.  But where their natural children had fled the strictness, John flourished in it.  Mrs. Wilson ensured that John had proper meals in return for him doing small jobs around the house.  Mr. Wilson was able to get John a job at the company he worked for.  Between work, doing upkeep on the house and church, John had very little free time.  His rent was minimal and his only indulgence was a car, so he was able to save most of his salary.  He tried dating girls his own age from church, but they found him too rigid and intense and he refused to date anyone not from his church.  His 20s flew by without him noticing.  The old couple became weak and frail, but didn’t want to move into a nursing home.  So they made a deal with John, that if he took care of them in the house until they passed they would leave all they had to him.  John was in his mid thirties when they both passed first the lady succumbed to pneumonia and then the man from grief.

Agnes’ family had joined John’s church when she was 16.  Her father had changed jobs and his boss had recommended his church.  Agnes was a plain shy girl who enjoyed cooking.  She had dreamed of being a wife and mother.  She thought she would be the boss once she got married and away from her strict parents.  She first developed a crush on John when at a church social he complimented her cooking.  After the old couple passed she offered to cook and clean for him.  By this time Agnes had graduated high school so she was allowed to work in his house as long as he was not there.  They were never allowed to be alone.  In order to communicate he would leave notes behind.  In her young mind Agnes thought they were love letters.  One night the pastor was having dinner at Agnes’ house.  He was telling her parents about John’s desire to look for a wife, he was wondering if Agnes’ older sister would be interested in being courted.  Agnes for the only time in her life interrupted and said she wanted to be courted by John.  While everyone thought she was still a bit young, it was agreed they could court.  Agnes knew how to cook and clean his house the way he liked and that was enough for him.  Within six months they were married.  Agnes’ dreams of a love filled house with her running the show came crashing down.  John was a faithful, dutiful husband, but he demanded the house be run on his terms.  Breakfast at 7 a.m. dinner at 7 p.m. The house was to be spotless.  He was responsible for all outside work, she was responsible for anything inside the house except for plumbing and electricity, which were in the male domain. 

John gave Agnes money every week and she had to account for how each penny was spent.  She had to ask permission if she wanted to purchase a new coat or a set of pots and pans. 

The only place John showed Agnes any love was in bed.  Even he had had dreams of falling in love and when they came together for the first time what they lacked in experience they made up for in desire.  Their first child was conceived on their honeymoon with the others coming every two to three years except for Sarah.  Agnes was 37 when Sarah was born.  By this time she was a tired middle aged woman who’s life revolved around keeping her children in line and her husband happy.  There was no violence in the house, but John’s word was law in the house.   The family attended church every Wednesday and Sunday.  The children’s friends had to be approved by John.  Dating was forbidden although group outings were allowed.  With eight kids, it was difficult to send any to college unless they had scholarships.  John considered sports a healthy outlet for teen exuberance and so several of their children were able to earn sports scholarships to local universities, by living at home and commuting, his kids were still under his control.  By the time Sarah was in high school John was in his 70s.  He felt he had lost control of his older children as they became adults.  So he tried being stricter with Sarah, at the same time Agnes was tired, she was going through menopause when Sarah entered high school.  Agnes didn’t watch Sarah as closely as she had her older children.  Since they were older, Sarah was needed to do more around the house as the older kids had moved out.  Sarah was not athletic and she knew there would be no scholarship for her.  She was a good student but not an excellent student, so she talked her parents into going to vocational school.  That way she could get a job right out of high school.  John by this time was retired and had no hobbies to fall back on.  He became more involved in his church and becoming more autocratic than he was before. 

Being the youngest Sarah had actually had more freedom than her older siblings. Her parents were so busy trying to keep the older teenagers in check that they didn’t supervise Sarah’s friends and activities as much as they had the others’.  Sarah never realized how beautiful she was, which made her even more beautiful.  She was kind and attentive and never mean.  With so many siblings she never felt the need to develop outside friendships.  Which is why, by the time she was in high school she was a bit of a loner.  In middle school she was required to take a basic computer class.  She discovered she not only loved working with computers, but was good at it.  She was able to pick up applications and learn them quickly.  So when she found out the vocational school offered an IT course she talked her parents into allowing her to go. 

By the time Sarah was a junior all of her siblings had left the house and now all of the parental attention she had missed was now solely devoted to her.  Daily lectures on proper behavior became the norm.  In fear of disobeying her parents she became almost a recluse.  Kids in vocational school came from all over the county, which meant she didn’t know anyone in her course.  The other kids thought she was stuck up because she was beautiful and she was too shy to prove them wrong. 

She excelled in her classes.  Many of the teachers ignored her because she didn’t need any help, their time was taken up by those who struggled.  However, one of the teachers belonged to the same church as Sarah did.  He knew Sarah’s family and understood the difficulties she would have socializing in an office setting.  One day he was talking to his friend Brooks, who was looking for a database management person.  While the teacher knew the work was too easy for Sarah, he believed it would be a good starting point in learning how to work with others in an office setting, especially since Carolyn ran the office.

The first time she saw Jason he was walking towards his Mom’s office.  She was stuck in a far corner behind her computer display.  He was so handsome and confident.  She was able to do her work easily and so was distracted whenever he came in.  He never looked around the office and so never noticed her.  One day, after a long day behind the screen she got up to get a cup of tea.  As she walked towards the kitchenette Jason entered the office.  With her long legs exposed under a skirt and her long blonde hair she looked just like the girl next door should and Jason liked what he saw.  His mom saw him talking to Sarah and warned him that she was from a strict family and that just made her more irresistible to him.  Sarah was already half in love with Jason before they met after she became the focus of his attention she was drowning.  He began by taking her out for lunch, then he talked her into telling her parents she was working late when he would take her out after work.  Eventually, he talked Sarah into calling in sick and they went back to his house.  With both of his parents at work he was able to overwhelm her senses and overcome her inhibitions. 

Sarah was embarrassed and ashamed at what she did with Jason, but at the same time, she didn’t want to end it.  He never talked about the future, but she had heard other people saying that he was moving to Florida.  She tried talking to him about the future, but he would start kissing her and all would be forgotten until she was alone.  One day she saw Jason’s mother upset.  When she asked her if she was OK, his mother just said she was sad because Jason had moved to Florida.  Surprised, Sarah tried calling Jason, but he never answered.  She then tried to text him, but again he never responded.  That is when she knew there was no future.  She was devastated and thought she couldn’t feel worse until she realized that she had missed her period. 

She panicked.  There was a girl in her church who became an unwed mother.  Sarah’s parents had stated that the girl’s parents should throw her out of the house.  The girl had had to confess her sin in front of the congregation.  Once the baby was born she was “encouraged” to give the child to a childless couple within the church.  The girl tried to go back to a normal life, but watching her child grow up without the right to say anything destroyed her.  One day the girl stopped coming to church and people stopped asking about her.  Sarah was afraid that would be her. 

To be sure one day Sarah stopped by the drug store on the way to work and picked up a pregnancy test.  She went into the bathroom and nearly collapsed when the little + showed up. 

Each day she continued to work and panic and she kept calling Jason.  Finally, she actually texted him that she was pregnant.  That’s when he blocked her. 

She didn’t know what to do, where to go.  The worry had made her listless and she was beginning to have morning sickness. One day sitting at her desk, it all built to a point and she started crying at her desk.  Brooks happened to be in the office that day and saw Sarah’s red eyes and splotchy face. His voice was so kind and the damn burst and she told him everything.  She told him how she loved Jason, and that they had sinned and now she was having a baby and her parents would throw her out of the house when they found out. 

Brooks was shocked.  He hadn’t even noticed Jason dating Sarah.  The fact that his son had seduced and abandoned her shamed him.  After a futile call to Jason, Brooks went and spoke with Sarah’s parents. 

“Will your son do the right thing?’’ asked John.

“I’m trying to get him to come home so that we can plan. But he refuses to accept the baby is his,” answered Brooks.      

“I’ll not have a wanton woman in my house.  Sarah I want you out of my home.  I’ll not have you flaunting your shame.”

Sarah was allowed to pack up her personal clothing and a few mementos.  She didn’t know where she was going to go.  She put everything in her car and sat there wondering what to do.  A knock on her window and she turned her attention to Brooks. 

“Follow me to my house, Carolyn will know what to do,” said Brooks.

Not having a better solution and out of habit she did as she was told.

Carolyn was worried, excited, and ashamed.  How could her son abandon this girl?  She had seen him flirt with Sarah in the office, but hadn’t known that they actually dated.

“Let’s sleep on it,” Carolyn said. “It won’t seem so bad in the morning light.”

The next day Carolyn sent Brooks to the store while she talked with Sarah.

“What do you want to do?” asked Carolyn

“I thought Jason and I would get married,” replied Sarah.

“Brooks talked with Jason last night, Jason refuses to admit the baby is his. Are you sure it’s Jason’s?”

Sarah wailed, “I was only with him, I haven’t even kissed anyone else, but him.”

Carolyn folded Sarah in her arms and patted her back like she was a baby.  Rocking her to and fro, she promised her everything would be OK.

It amazed Carolyn as she remembered all of those years praying to get pregnant and here was this young girl wishing she wasn’t. 

“Are you going to fire me?” asked Sarah when she finally caught her breath.

“No baby, we aren’t going to fire you,” consoled Carolyn.

“For now why don’t you move into here and let’s take things a day at a time.”

Initially, Sarah was embarrassed for anyone to know that she was pregnant, but Carolyn convinced her that while she had been naïve, she hadn’t done anything evil.  Brooks convinced John to keep Sarah on his insurance so that she could have proper medical care.  Sarah hoped that even if her father was adamant about her not living at home, that her mother would at least help her.  She was disappointed when her mother told her that not only would she not be welcome to live in the house that she was not welcome to visit either. 

Sarah then called her siblings, while they were more sympathetic, they weren’t very helpful either.  While they didn’t shun her as her parents did, they had their own families to worry about.

Sarah had been using the bedroom on the first floor and while they lived in harmony, Carolyn began to think that Sarah should have a space just for herself.  The pool house had come equipped with a bathroom and a kitchenette, with a little renovation they were able to turn it into a small, but lovely, one bedroom apartment.  When the doctor asked Sarah who would be her coach, Carolyn volunteered.  Sarah had saved a fair amount of her salary, so she tried to purchase the items she needed for the baby, but eventually, Carolyn told Sarah to save her money, she would buy the necessities.

“Babies are very expensive.  You spend your money on you and let me buy for the baby,” said Carolyn.

“But I can’t keep accepting everything from you,” replied Sarah.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you know when enough is too much.”

So they went shopping for a bed, a stroller, a car seat.  Carolyn would pick up a little outfit, she would happen to see.  Sarah, continued to work in the office and actually became assistant manager in the IT department.  As Sarah’s skills became better recognized, the fact that she was pregnant by the runaway son of the owner became less important.  To repay, Brooks and Carolyn, Sarah worked harder and longer.  Eventually, she began anticipating trouble before it could blossom.  She advised getting a better system and helped build a better website. During her off time she and Carolyn would bond while Carolyn quilted and crocheted for the expected arrival. Sarah learned what it was like being in a house where her opinion counted.  She was amazed when Carolyn would refuse to do Brooks bidding.  She was shocked when Brooks would declare it an off day for Carolyn, sending Sarah and Carolyn for a spa day, while he would cook and clean that day.  Sarah learned what a couple should be.  It’s not that they didn’t argue or disagree, it was the way they disagreed, sometimes one or the other would apologize and give in, other times they would just agree to disagree.  Yes Carolyn was mainly responsible for the house, but if one day she didn’t get all the dishes done on time or the laundry back in the closets.  There were no cold silences or hard looks of reprimand.  Carolyn never asked Brooks when she spent a small fortune on baby things or the renovation.  Once the decision had been made to keep Sarah in their house, Sarah became a de facto daughter. 

Sarah came to enjoy cooking with Carolyn.  In her home, all the food was catered to her father’s likes.  There wasn’t much variety.  In her new home Carolyn would see something on the cooking channel and decide to try it.  Sometimes it was perfection, sometimes it became a pizza night.  Initially, Sarah didn’t know what to do with her free time, she was used to attending church on Wednesdays and twice on Sunday.  She knew that she couldn’t go back to her old church, so she started a round robin of the local churches.  While Brooks and Carolyn rarely attended church, Carolyn began going with Sarah occasionally.  Eventually, Sarah found a church she was comfortable with. 

As her due date drew near, Sarah hoped that Jason would show up.  When he didn’t she wondered how she would raise this baby alone.  Eventually, she would have to move out, but until then she decided she was going to enjoy her new life. 

The pains started subtly in the middle of the night.  Initially, Sarah just thought the aches were from sitting to long.  But as they began to get stronger and closer together she realized it was time to go to the hospital.  Entering through the back door to the kitchen she wished Brooks and Carolyn good morning and hoped they had a good breakfast, because it was time to go.  Panic flew across Brooks face, excitement over Carolyn’s.  Carolyn cleaned up the breakfast mess as Brooks changed.  Sarah had brought her suitcase and off they went. 

“Sarah, is in labor, Agnes,” Brooks said, “she needs her mother.”

“She brought shame to the family.  Her father had to step down as deacon after everyone came to know of her sin.  She should feel the pain of shunning so that she can repent her sin.”

Brooks hung up, he couldn’t understand how Sarah’s parents could abandon their child.  He couldn’t understand how his son could abandon his child.  Since Brooks could never abandon his child, he called Jason, in the hope that Jason would change his mind.  It was a futile call, but one he had to make.

After hanging up from his call to Jason, Brooks waited.  Between examinations he would sit in the room while Carolyn helped Sarah with her Lamaze breathing.  Brooks wasn’t sure it actually helped, but at least it was something for them to do.  Sarah had given him her sibling’s phone numbers so he decided to call them.  Most thanked him for calling and requested that he call them again when everything was over.  Two of her sisters stopped by, but had to go home to cook dinner for their families.  Then as the clock neared midnight Gabriel Michael announced his arrival with a loud squall. 

Once the nurses cleaned up the newborn they placed him on Sarah’s chest.  All the old fears disappeared and a new set settled in, but this time, Sarah could feel herself strengthen.  She would protect this child.  She had been in love with Jason and this little one was a result of her love. 

Sarah took off work for six weeks, but then she started back as she was able to take Gabe into the office.  She had a special bassinet he could sleep in at the office.  When necessary she would go into Carolyn’s office and nurse.  Sarah didn’t want to take advantage of Brooks and Carolyn’s generosity, but she had never lived alone and didn’t really want to move away.  After a few months a rhythm settled into their lives.  Sarah took care of the baby and her apartment.  A few times a week Brooks and Carolyn would take Gabe for a few hours so that Sarah could run her errands, clean her house or even just take a much needed nap. 

Once Gabe began sleeping the night through Sarah’s life became a bit easier.  She was lucky and grateful she didn’t have to worry about child care.  The office staff became accustomed to Gabe’s presence and to Sarah’s new roll in the business.  Most nights Sarah would have dinner with Brooks and Carolyn, it just made sense.  There would be small talk about the office and plans for the baby.  They never talked about Jason or her parents. 

With the internet part of the business quickly expanding, Brooks asked Sarah if she wanted to go to the nearby university and get a degree in IT and office management.  Sarah was afraid of putting Gabe in a crèche, but in the end they decided that Carolyn would watch Gabe when Sarah had classes.  Sarah arranged her classes to be on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays.  That way she could work on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.  In order to get to class on time, Sarah would have to leave early in the morning, so Gabe began having breakfast with his grandparents as well as lunch and dinner three days a week.   

Sometimes Sarah would arrange play dates with her siblings’ children.  It was a bit awkward initially, but eventually it became normal.  So while Sarah’s parents still refused to meet her, she hadn’t lost everyone.

Brooks’ and Carolyn’s family also came to accept Sarah as part of the family.  Her name was added to all the rosters for family gatherings.  Gabe was a good baby and the cousins loved him.

One day after marketing class, Sarah was asked out on a date.  She immediately said no and rushed away.  She had never really dated and she was scared.  She told Carolyn about it as she set the table for dinner that night.

“He asked me to the movies.”

“Don’t you like him?” asked Carolyn.

“I don’t know him,” replied Sarah.

“Does he seem nice?”

Sarah thought about how the young man acted in class and thought he was OK.  So she shrugged her shoulders. 

“It’s OK to want to go out Sarah.  I can babysit sometimes.”

“You already have to watch him so much.”

“It’s OK, I’ll tell you if I can’t watch him.  Next time, think about saying yes.”

So over the next few weeks, Sarah watched Brian, the guy who had asked her out.  He noticed her new interest and tried asking again.

“I’m older than you and I have a baby.” Sarah rushed out the words in case she stumbled over them. 

“Not a problem.” Brian said. 

Sarah and Brian went out on several dates, but Sarah could never relax and never felt that spark that she had with Jason.  Eventually, Brian stopped calling.  No anger no fights, just a fizzle.

Though nothing came of dating Brian, it led to Sarah accepting dates from other men.  Sometimes it would just be a single date and once she dated David for six months.  Even though she and David were intimate, she didn’t really feel safe.

After Sarah graduated from college she had fewer opportunities to meet anyone to date.  The only places she went to were work, grocery store and church.  She and Gabe had been attending their church regularly and Sarah had even volunteered for some of the committees. 

Harold was a divorcee.  One day he came home early from the office and found his wife of three years in bed with the next door neighbor.  Wanting to never be in the house again, he took his car and his clothes and left everything else to her.  They didn’t have any children as she had wanted to wait a couple of more years, she thought 25 was too young to have kids.  So he just walked away.  He was able to get a transfer with his company and had decided to rent an apartment in the new city.  He promised his granny when he was a kid and she was on her death bed that he would go to church at least once a month.  Looking around his neighborhood he found a nice church within walking distance.  It happened to be the same one that Sarah attended.  Initially, he went because of his promise, but he continued going for the sense of community.  Assuming the new member, Harold, had time and energy, the local pastor roped him into serving on some of the committees. 

Harold, such an old fashioned name for such a handsome young man, but he was born with a head of bright orange hair and it reminded his mother of Prince Harry and so he was named. 

Sarah had just become President of the Five and Dime in order for Brooks to spend more time on painting.  His art and Carolyn’s crafts had their own special section on their website and they earned a premium price.  It had been over a year since she broke it off with her last boyfriend, if she could even call him that, they had only dated a month or so.  She had become friends with Harold at church.  They were on several of the same committees.  They often met up for coffee or a meal to discuss whatever they were working on at the time, but neither took it further. 

One day when they were trying to come up with a new fund raiser in order to get the plumbing upgraded in the church, Harold noticed Sarah was upset. 

“My son’s father is out of jail and he is making my son’s life miserable.  He won’t even acknowledge him.” 

Harold had met Gabe many times and he couldn’t understand how a man could deny his child.  He had even coached Gabe in the church’s soccer league team.  Harold reached over to Sarah and patted her hand.

“I don’t know what to say or do, but if there is anything I can do let me know. You have a good boy there.”

Sarah shook off her misery and thanked Harold.

The next time they met for the finance committee, Harold asked how things were going and Sarah opened up to him, telling him a bit about her life.  He opened up about his divorce.  Sarah never noticed the shift in their relationship from acquaintances to friends.  There was a big comic con coming to the nearby city.  Gabe begged to go.  Normally, Brooks would have taken him, but age was creeping up on him and attending a conference for eight hours was beyond his ability. 

When Sarah mentioned it to Harold, he said, “I used to go to them all the time, but my wife hated them, so I stopped. Let me get us tickets and we’ll go together.”

Sarah was skeptical at first, “Are you sure you want to go to a place with people in costumes and ask for photographs all day?”

“I’ll be one of them in costume,” he laughed.

So one Saturday, summer morning Harold picked up the duo and off they went on an autograph hunting adventure.  Harold had been able to get them special passes.  Gabe had saved up his birthday money in order to buy some souvenirs. Sarah was just happy to see her son so happy and carefree and was intrigued to see Harold in the same mood.  They went from booth to booth, they went to panels and listened to speakers.  They got souvenir glasses filled with icy fruit flavored chemicals, loaded hot dogs, and cotton candy. Eventually even an eight year old’s sugar fueled energy will deplete.  Harold picked up the youngster and carried him back to the car.  Near Sarah’s house Harold pulled into a fast food restaurant and ordered hamburgers and fries.  They sat eating their burgers and drinking their cokes in a comfortable silence as Gabe snored in the back.

“Thanks for the wonderful day,” said Sarah. 

“Thank you.  I would never have thought of going alone.  It brought back a lot of good memories for me.”

After that night, Harold and Sarah started going out for dinners and movies.  Sometimes alone, sometimes with Gabe.  When the holidays came Harold was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at Brooks’ house, but he had to decline to go back to his parents’ home. 

Gabe was hurt.  His biological father refused to acknowledge him and Harold, the man he looked up to was nowhere to be found.

Brooks found Gabe hiding under Gabe’s desk.  “What’s up?”.

“Why don’t I have a father who loves me?”

Brooks sighed.  He knew this conversation would eventually come.

“I don’t know why Jason is the way he is.  All I know is that it is not your fault.  I’m not sure Jason knows how to love anyone except for himself.  I am so sorry.  But you have to remember this.  You have a mother that loves you to the moon and back. Your grandma and I love you the same.  You have aunts and cousins who love you.  As hard as this is for me to say, your Dad is not worth your energy.  Don’t go chasing after something that isn’t there for him to give.”  Brooks pulled Gabe onto his lap and held his grandson and let him cry.  Eventually, the tears dried, Brooks wiped away the tear stains and keeping Gabe’s hand in his they walked around the house meeting all the people that loved them, avoiding Jason, who avoided them. 

At Christmas, Harold was invited for Christmas Lunch.  When Carolyn and Brooks had first moved into the big house they had started a tradition of inviting all of their siblings and their children for “Christmas Eve Nibbles and Nog”.   

Harold arrived at noon, with a bottle of wine for the house and gifts for all of its inhabitants.  Sitting in the big room watching football on the big screen, it didn’t take long for Harold to figure out that he was being interrogated by an expert.  Gabe sat in the middle running interference, spouting off football trivia like a true announcer.  Harold leaned back and took a swig of his beer. 

“Yes I moved here to get away from a bad marriage. I like it here and have no desire to move again.  My folks live two hours away.  I would have spent Christmas with them, but they went to my sister’s house in New York.

Carolyn was trying to figure out how Sarah felt about Harold, but couldn’t get passed that they were good friends. 

By the end of the day Brooks and Carolyn knew they approved of Harold, but were wondering when Sarah was going to see that Harold was worth going after. 

Harold’s colleagues at work planned a New Year’s bash at a downtown hotel, he decided to ask Sarah to go with him.  Brooks and Carolyn waved them off and told them not to rush home.  The evening was fun and friendly with most of the couple being married or engaged.  They ate shrimp cocktail and some dry chicken and danced as if tomorrow wouldn’t come.  Sarah had grown up with the belief alcohol was evil.  While she no longer believed that she still rarely drank.  She was willing to toast with the champagne, but stopped after the one glass.  When one of the other woman tried to force her to drink more Harold, firmly yet politely put a stop to it and ordered Sarah the coke she wanted.  Noticing Sarah becoming uncomfortable as the people around her became increasingly drunk, he pulled her closer to him.  As midnight neared Harold pulled Sarah onto the dance floor, holding her close he looked down while the room counted down.  As everyone around them shouted “Happy New Year” and kissed the one they were with.  Harold said “Happy New Year” and kissed Sarah. It was a kiss of pent up longing, just two sets of lips touching reluctant to parting.  He pulled her closer to him and she wrapped her arms around his waist her ear to his heart.

“This is how I want to spend my year,” Harold said and Sarah smiled.  She leaned back and looked into his eyes.

“I can get on board with that.”

Shortly afterwards he took her home, kissing her at the door and telling her he would be back in the morning.

By this time they had known each other for almost 3 years, friends for more than a year.  As they took their relationship into a new direction, they realized they had to think of more than just themselves. 

The next morning Harold showed up at the door with donuts.  He was eager to see Sarah and see if she still felt the same.  Looking at her glowing eyes, he breathed a sigh of relief. 

Brooks and Carolyn looked upon the new lovers with a grin. 

As they sat down to a New Year’s Day breakfast combining the cooked food of the house and the store bought donuts, a new piece slid into place.

After breakfast Harold and Sarah took Gabe aside and told him they were now dating.

“I thought you were already dating”, he said. “You always went out together, you were always talking on the phone.  Isn’t that dating?”

Sarah looked at Harold and shrugged, maybe they had been dating all this time and just didn’t know it. 

As spring approached Sarah’s life became easier when Jason, decided to go work for his girlfriend.  It’s wasn’t that she saw him very much, but it was strange running into him at the store.  He was still angry that she was president and she was angry that he would ignore their son, even when in the same room.  Even Brooks and Carolyn seemed to breathe more easily after he left.  They loved their son, but they weren’t comfortable with the man he became.  They had met his girlfriend and while it seemed a strange coupling there was no denying that Jason seemed more centered when he was with her. 

Harold and Sarah seemed to be a perfect match, but Brooks and Carolyn enjoyed watching the young couple feel their way in this new relationship.  Sarah had become a confident woman as President of the Five and Dime, but things that had been instilled into her as a child would erupt at the strangest times. Sarah was at war with herself.  She would defer to him even when she preferred doing something else.  He was often at her house for dinner, so she began cooking his favorites, even when she didn’t like it. Finally, everything came to a head one day when Sarah, was angry at cancelling a meeting because Harold, wanted her to attend a business function. 

“Why are you so angry?” he asked.

“Because you scheduled a function without asking me if I had something.”

“I didn’t ask you to cancel anything, I asked would you like to come and hear the talk. I thought you would find the topic interesting.”

“But it is the same time as my meeting.”

“I didn’t schedule the talk, I was just invited, just as I invited you.  You could have said no, that you had a previous engagement. It was an invite not an order.”

Sarah plopped down on the sofa and looked at Harold as if he had three horns on his head.  She looked out of the window onto the bright blue water.  As she looked at the shimmering pool she looked at the man she loved. 

“It was a request, not an order.”

“yes”

She turned and looked at the pool some more.

“You didn’t tell me to make the calamari, you just said that you like it.”

Confused, he answered “yes”.

“I can say no.”

“Of course you can.”

“I can cancel a date because of trouble at work, just like you did last month, even at the last minute.”

“Honey, did I ever say that you had to bend towards me all the time?”

“That was how I was raised, even seeing Carolyn and Brooks, it was still in me.”  Harold knelt down and took her hands in his.

“Honey, I love you, just the way you are.  I know you come with responsibilities, you come with the Gabe and Carolyn and Brooks and the Five and Dime and all of its employees.  I just need to know that I am part of what you look after.  Not the whole, just a part.  And for you to know that I come with responsibilities, my parents and my work.  And if you let me, I would also like to help make your life easier, that you can lean on me.  I don’t want to take over your life, I just want to be a part of it.” 

It was a major shift in their relationship.  Sarah still found herself doing things she didn’t want to do, but Carolyn told her in a marriage both sides find themselves giving into something, it is only when only one side gives in that it is bad. 

Gabe was also adjusting.  For most of his life it had been just him, Sarah and his grandparents.  He no longer dreamed of a fantasy father.  Jason had forced reality on him.  By this time Gabe was 10 and his grade school graduation was coming up.  Gabe was supposed to wear a suit.  He wanted a man’s opinion on the suit he was going to wear not a mom’s.  Brooks was going to go, but he slipped on some ice and sprained his ankle and now wasn’t allowed to drive.  When Harold heard, he offered up his assistance.  Gabe was a bit hesitant.  Harold was fine as his mom’s boyfriend, but Gabe was wary of him.  When they went to the store everyone assumed that Harold was Gabe’s father, Gabe thought Harold would tell them he wasn’t, but Harold just smiled when the clerk said how handsome his son looked.  Harold with his red hair and Gabe with his curly black hair, how could they think they were father and son?  Gabe couldn’t figure it out. 

After picking out his graduation suit, Harold took Gabe out for dinner.  Not at a family restaurant, but one of those fancy adult places with real napkins.  Gabe knew how to behave and sat across from Harold, as they discussed what they should have for dinner.  Harold asked Gabe what he liked and listened.  Whether he liked chicken or fish, white sauce or mushroom sauce, salad? What kind of dressing?  The conversation started off slow, but eventually it became normal, like when he went out with his grandad, talking about man things.  After the dessert, Harold asked for a cup of coffee for himself and a hot chocolate for Gabe.

“Gabe, I need to talk with you about something important.”

“Ok,” Gabe said as he blew on his hot chocolate.

“I love your mom.”

“Yep, knew that.  I heard you tell her. I heard her tell you that she loves you too.”

  “Yes, and when a man and woman love each other like we do, they usually get married.”

“My Dad didn’t marry her”

“I know and that was his mistake. I don’t want to make that mistake”

“You want to take her away.” Gabe said staring intently at the melting cream.

“Not away, I just want to live with her.  You and her.”

“What about Grandma and Grandpa.  We have to take care of them.”

“I know, so I was thinking, the house across the street is for sale.  So we could move there.”

“I have breakfast with them.”

“You could still have breakfast with them, sometimes.”

“What about dinner?”

“Sometimes, you could still have dinner with them.”

“What does Mom say?”

“I haven’t asked her yet, if you aren’t comfortable yet maybe I’d wait a little while until you were comfortable living with me.”

“Are you going to be my Dad?”

“That’s up to you. Do you want me to be your Dad?”

“Need to think about it.”

“Ok, you take some time and think and let me know.  Meanwhile why don’t we spend more time together to see if you like it.”

Gabe looked up and stared into Harold’s eyes, wary, he looked at him sideways, double checking, trying to see if there was a trick to all of this.  “OK, I’ll think and let you know.”

Harold spoke with Brooks and told him his intentions and told him about his conversation with Gabe.  Brooks was happy.  In order to make things easier, Brooks decided to take Carolyn on an Alaskan cruise and since they would be on the West Coast they would go to a resort and enjoy an ocean view in Los Angeles.

With Brooks and Carolyn gone and the responsibilities of their jobs Sarah and Harold realized they had to plan their time together as someone needed to be with Gabe.  Luckily, Sarah was able to schedule most of her meetings during school hours and then could use her lunch hour to pick up Gabe from school.  They would then go back to the office where he could get his homework done.  If there were after school activities or a get together she sometimes had to ask a friend to pick him up.  When he could Harold volunteered.  Sarah, Harold, and Gabe began having dinner together every night. 

One night after Gabe had gone to bed, Harold, brought up the house across the street.

“I’m thinking of buying the Holmes’ house.” He said.

Sarah looked at him with surprise and a bit of confusion on her face. 

“Why?”

“I want us to be a real family, but I also know that you feel responsible for Brooks and Carolyn. I know Gabe needs to be near them.  If I buy the house across the street, we could be together more often.  My apartment is great for just me, but it’s not big enough for three.”

“Are you asking me to marry you?  Now?” replied Sarah in a shocked voice.

“I’m not proposing right now, but down the line.  I told Gabe.  He said he’d get back to me.  He doesn’t trust me and I don’t want to try and force him.  Yet I don’t want to stay in the same space.  I’d like to plan for the future for when we can live together as a family, maybe even expand the family one day.”

Sarah leaned back against the sofa arm and looked Harold in straight on.  She searched his face for what, she didn’t know, but searched anyway.  It’s not as if she hadn’t thought about what she would say if he asked, but that was just thinking, now that the moment was here, her mind threw up reasons not to go the next step; her work, his work, her responsibilities to Gabe, Brooks, and Carolyn, her fear of losing herself. Questions popped into her head randomly; what about Gabe, what would people say, how did she feel, did she even want to get married?

“I need time to think.” She finally said.

“Does that mean you don’t want to have a future with me?” Harold’s voice brimming with hurt.  “I thought when you said you loved me, that you wanted a future with me.” 

“I do, but I just didn’t realize the future was now.”

Giving her a look filled with pain, Harold got up, he walked over and kissed her on her forehead.  “Take some time.  Let me know what you decide.”  Then he picked up his jacket and walked out the door.

That night Sarah tossed and turned.  Sleep was elusive as the words and the look on his face replayed over and over, sometimes in slow motion, sometimes it sped up.  Somewhere near 4 am she finally realized why she had frozen.  Fear.  Fear of trusting someone enough to really share her life.  Up until now, Harold had been friend and lover, but always a bit on the outside when it came to Sarah’s family, Gabe, Brooks and Carolyn.    Everyone else in her family had let her down.  Her parents throwing her out.  Even her siblings who although no longer shunned her they always seemed to make her feel like a black sheep, but Harold had never done that.  He had never judged her for the fact that she was an unwed mother.  He had never tried to make her feel guilty when work or family responsibilities had to take priority over them getting together.  He hadn’t pushed for a physical relationship until she was ready.  He was good with Gabe.  He had helped him with homework and school projects and coached his little league. He had enjoyed the comic con and had even introduced them to renaissance fairs.  He had brought in whimsy to her and Gabe’s lives.  He was respectful for the love that she had for Brooks and Carolyn. 

Eventually, Sarah stood up and looked outside the window at the house across the street.  She had been inside a couple of times for cookouts.  She imagined how she would decorate it.  She imagined the family gatherings they would have.  For the first time she thought of what it would be like to have another child, one that was created with love of both parents and to have her husband with her through it all.  Calm now, she let a lifetime of fear slip to the background.  She wouldn’t let it rule her life, one day it might disappear altogether, but the important part was that she wasn’t going to allow fear to make her decisions. 

Finally, just as the sun came up, she crawled into bed and enjoyed a contented sleep.  She was still groggy when the alarm went off and she got Gabe ready for school.  She decided to take a mental health day.  First she called into the office and had all of her meetings cancelled.  Then she called a local day spa and booked herself for the works, manicure, pedicure, massage, facial, hair.  She picked up Gabe from school and took him to his favorite restaurant.

“Gabe, I need to talk with you about something important.”

Gabe looked at her with questioning eyes. “What?”

“Harold and I are thinking we might get married sometime in the future.  What do you think about that?”

“He already told me, he was going to ask? I asked him if that would make him my Dad.  He asked me what I thought about that.  I told him I’d think about it.”

“What did you decide?”

“He’s a good guy.  I can live with him.”

“We might decide to give you a brother or sister.  How do you feel about that?”

“Johnny’s Dad and Stepmom gave him a baby sister.  He says it’s not too bad. I could get used to it, maybe.  Harold said he would buy the house across the street from Gramps.  That way they won’t have to be alone.”

“Well nothing is going to happen right away, but I wanted you to know that I love you and I want you to be happy.”

Gabe looked at his Mom, he saw the concern on her face.  He thought about how happy she had been since she started dating Harold.  She laughed more.  She didn’t try and be perfect all the time any more.  He thought about how tense she got whenever his Dad showed up or when someone asked her about her family.  She looked like she would break, but since Harold, even then she didn’t seem as upset.  He thought about Harold, and how he hadn’t tried to buy him presents like Mike’s Mom’s boyfriend.  Harold took the time to help him make a volcano.  He had even helped him with his throwing and catching a baseball.  He thought of how Harold looked at Sarah, all soft and lovey dovey and when he saw that Gabe saw, he would just grin at Gabe as if they shared a joke.   Mom said she wanted Gabe to be happy, but now Gabe knew it was in his hands to make his mom happy.

“I decided.  I can live with Harold being my Dad.”

Sarah looked at her son.  She had seen him thinking, various expressions crossing his face. When he looked up at her in the end and gave his approval.  She was filled with such pride and love. 

Sitting in his apartment across town, Harold looked sat on his balcony drinking a scotch.  He worried that he had pushed too much too soon.  He had loved her for so long, longer than she even knew. Initially, it was just attraction for a pretty woman.  He would sit in the committee meetings and watch her face, especially, when she was passionate about a project.  Initially, he stayed away because he was still hurt and angry from his divorce, he didn’t need or want to get involved with a single mother.  Eventually, he decided to leave his anger towards his wife behind.  It wasn’t hurting anyone except him.  Living closer to his parents and sibling allowed him to become a part of his family again.  After living on the other side of the country for so long, he had become a stranger.  When the committee needed a soccer coach for the church’s little league he volunteered because of all the good memories he had when he played.  He was surprised to see Sarah bring her son and cheer from the sides all summer long.  He watched closely and noticed how stiff she became when men approached her.  She only relaxed with friends and people she knew.  So he jumped at every opportunity to work with her on projects.  The day she broke down when her ex came back, he wanted to hurt the man who had hurt her and her son so badly.  When they began meeting for coffee and dinners he intentionally moved slow.  She was skittish and he didn’t want to make her bolt.  He waited and looked for any sign that she saw him as a man and not just a friend.  That first kiss on New Year’s Eve had rocked his world and flipped it on axis.  But it also came crashing down on him, that she came as a package deal, not only her son, but also her son’s grandparents. The grilling during that first Christmas showed that they looked on her and would protect her as if she was their daughter. 

When he married his first wife, she had insisted that they move across the country.  She didn’t want interaction with either side of their family.  He had been so in love he hadn’t even noticed how isolated from his parents and siblings he had become.  After the divorce he realized how much he had missed the family gatherings and events, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays spent in laughing, fighting and just the joy of being together. 

Watching Sarah with Gabe, Brooks and Carolyn, he realized that this was her core family.  That if he wanted her he would have to take all of them.  He also needed Sarah to meet his family. He had talked his parents into visiting him for a long weekend.  During that time he introduced them to Sarah and Gabe at a church social. Sarah was a bit shy around them, but didn’t worry too much about it because they had just started dating. When Harold and his parents got back to his apartment his parents looked at him with questioning faces. 

“I love her and plan to marry her. She just doesn’t know it yet. Her parents suck, her ex is an asshole, but she makes me happy.”

His parents had been skeptical, so they began visiting a bit more often in order to spend time with Sarah.  In the end Sarah won them over.  Now he just had to win Sarah’s hand.

So he had made his move, was it too soon?  He thought all was going to be good.  But she had looked at him as if he was a stranger.  For the first time he had been angry and hurt.  What could he do?  He had handled it wrong.  He had thought about staying home from work, but he was afraid to be alone with his thoughts.  Now sitting on his balcony with a glass too full, he couldn’t escape his thoughts.  Afraid that he might get drunk and do something stupid like call Sarah and beg, he stood up and poured his drink down the drain.  As he walked back into the living room the doorbell rang.  As he opened the door he was surprised to see Sarah and Gabe standing there with grocery bags in their hands. 

“We came to celebrate!” Gabe exclaimed as he bounced in the room.  He put his bag on the dining table and started taking out bananas, whipped cream, nuts, and sauces.  Sarah stood in the hallway, looking at him.  Not saying a word, just waiting with a hopeful look on her face.  He stepped back and gestured for her to come in.   She walked into his kitchen and started taking out tubs of ice cream, chocolate, strawberry, vanilla. 

“What are we celebrating?” Harold finally asked.

“You buying a house.” She said while taking down bowls from the cabinet.  Reaching into the drawer where he kept his ice cream scoop she stopped, looked back at him and said, “I love you, you know that right?”. 

Harold released the breath he didn’t even realize he had been holding.  She closed the drawer as he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her. 

“I wasn’t sure if you loved me enough.”

 “I wasn’t sure either.  But that was fear filling my head.  Fear that I wouldn’t be enough to keep you. Fear that whatever you see in me now would fade.  Then in the middle of the night I thought of all the times you just stood by my side, the times you held my hand, the times you let me be me.  Then I remembered the look of pride and happiness on your face when you saw me being me and the fear got pushed aside.”   Putting her head on his chest she whispered.  “Sometimes the fear creeps in. I wasn’t good enough, that I couldn’t make my parents love me.  I couldn’t make Jason love me. Then I remember Brooks and Carolyn together and think they didn’t make the other love them, they just did.  That’s how it was with you.  You didn’t make me love you, one day I just did.  Every time we are together I see love in your eyes when you look at me.  Fear froze me.  But your love lets me grow.”

Harold pulled her in tighter as he shuddered his last bit of fear away.

“Are we celebrating or not?” yelled Gabe from the next room.

“We are”, yelled Harold back.

Carrying the banana split supplies back to the dining table, Sarah exhaled slowly.  They had time to figure out all the details.  They had time to make plans.  Right now they just needed to celebrate deciding to be a family.